Well, I decided that I am finally comfortable enough to write about this topic. Most people that are close to me know about the fact that I recently went through a break up. I dated one of the best girls that I've ever known throughout most of my college life. However, although I care about her immensely, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to try being single during some of my adult life. I have now been single for almost 3 months, and I'm starting to realize that I'm just not very good at it. Let me explain...
There are two types of single. The type that just want to be casual and fool around for a night and then go their separate ways, and the type that are analyzing everyone of the opposite sex as a possible mother of their future children. I, however, fall into an odd middle ground. Having been in a serious relationship for almost the last 5 years of my life, I am hesitant about the idea of getting back into a committed relationship. But at the same time, I am not really the type of guy that can just casually have a fling with a girl that I am not interested in at all.
However, I can't help but label every physically attractive girl that I meet and enjoy talking to as a candidate for a serious relationship. Because of this conflict, I feel at times like Golem from Lord of the Rings with my incompatible inner dialogues. It's infuriating!!! Like I said, I'm just not good at this whole being single and keeping things casual thing. I'm not Fabio. I'm not a womanizer. I'm much better at being a boyfriend. That's what I'm used to. I feel like a complete fish out of water.
I hope that it gets easier as time goes on and I get more comfortable with it, but at the moment, I just feel like I'm treading water and everyone just keeps stepping on my head and think they're helping. I am definitely not enjoying single life as much as I would have anticipated. I'm naturally a lazy person. If I can ever find an easy solution to something, I will exploit it. This whole single life is way more work than I foresaw and there's no cheat sheet that I've been able to figure out. And at the moment...it's way more than I bargained for.
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